Pranks and Labs Don't Mix
by Speedy Speck
Summary: Tifa and Yuffie decide to pay a prank on their two husbands in the Shinra labs which doesn't go as planned. TifaxReno and YuffiexRude ...Written for 'The Sacred and Profane'


Disclaimer: Final Fantasy does not belong to me...however much I may like it to. I own no characters, places etc. etc. so please don't sue me! I'm a nice person :)

Author's Note: Sixty-Fourth fanfic...Written for 'The Sacred and Profane'...Sorry it took so darn long!...PLEASE review as I really enjoy reading your views and they inspire me to get better! It would make me very very happy! Anyway stop reading this and get on with reading the fic! Hope you enjoy! :)

''Where the hell are they!'' The usually high pitched voice came out slightly more muffled as she attempted to carry out her query with some concealment, though not completely as the smallest of reverberations rattling around the metallic walls.

Her companion swiftly snapped around to look at her, with more than a degree of disapprovement edged into her crimson-tinted glare, ''Yuffie language!''

The young, petite form of the princess, and the rather more curvaceous form of the bartender, lay crouched close together, behind one of the perfectly symmetrically placed lab tables which littered the room in a rather too organized fashion.

Both females had been hiding out in the now empty Shin-Ra Labs for a good twenty minutes, and it was clear neither of them were enjoying having to sit in the silent darkness.

As the older brunette felt the first wave of leg cramps prickling through her bent form, she grimaced lightly, and muttered to her rather less effected friend, ''You did tell them four o'clock right?''

Yuffie emitted an over dramatic huff, ''Of course!''

Her questioning friend raised a rather dubious eyebrow, ''You sure?''

''Yes! Don't worry, you can trust me!'' The young ninja shone the bartender one of her trademark 'Look at me, I'm cute, I couldn't possibly be wrong, or a thief, or over energetic, or mischievous, or in fact even be aware of the concept of being naughty' smiles, which received an all to familiar expression of blank unimpressed suspicion.

''Hm.''

A few moments of echoing silence passed between them, before the young ninja began giggling up and down excitedly, ''This is gunna be sooo cool!''

Even Tifa allowed herself to smirk, ''It will be entertaining to see those two shriek like little girls.''

Since the ninja's recent marriage to Rude, her and the brunette bartender had been spending a lot more time together, after all, both were married to Turks, and both seemed to have similar complaints and grievances when it came to their behaviour.

True they loved their husbands deeply, but that wasn't to say they were immune for ticking them off occasionally.

The planned prank had arisen after a rather stormy night at the flat above Seventh Heaven, when the two couples had been having one of their annual movie nights, and all four were curled up upon the sofa, albeit a little squished.

They were about half way through one of Yuffie's favourite movies, 'Pokemon 2000' (after all with the basis of the series centring around collecting amazingly funky looking creatures inside small, round spheres, it was hardly surprising that she enjoyed the concept) when a rather sudden and also rather bright flash of lightening stuck down outside and penetrated its deliverance through the thick material of the curtains, causing the two females both to jump and scream in frightened shock, which in turn caused the red head to burst into a fit of deep giggles, with Rude following close behind; the time spent with his now-wife obviously having an effect upon him.

The younger girl crossed her arms confidently, ''Yeah...it'll show 'em...I mean how dare they mock us...''She motioned her hands towards her practically non-existent hips and attempted to strike a Yuffie-worthy pose rather unsuccessfully in her current, cramped position ''Me, a Princess, an unbelievably skilled Materia hunter, a jaw-droppingly brilliant ninja, and you a-'' Her gaze drifted over the older brunette for a few moments before she smiled triumphantly, ''bartender with amazingly large breasts.''

Luckily for Yuffie, her comment's recipient was not able to respond with her chosen form of head-butting violence, as the distinctive sound of metal upon metal rang around them, signalling the doors latch-lock to have been opened, and soon the pair were listening intently at the grouped footsteps which thudded lightly upon the smooth flooring.

''Tifa?'' The red head's voice called out, as Rude silently surveyed the area, even though, he too, had been asked by his wife to meet her there.

Reno turned to his fellow Turk and muttered as his eyes darted through the palely lit room, ''This place gives me the creeps.'' Rude nodded in agreement as they continued further into the space, carefully avoiding tables as they went.

The moment they became close enough, and there calm calls began to be replaced with nervous mumblings, both the ninja and the brunette leaped from their previously held position, whilst bellowing as loud as they could.

Although they did receive the wanted reactions from the Turks, whom proceeded to screech and fall back upon some of the stools, the two females also tumbled, managing in their travels, to take with them half of the filled vials which lay upon a neighbouring section of the lab table, which soon crashed to the floor along with them form, splattering their contents over the mass of sprawling bodies.

* * *

Reno was the first to scrabble to his feet, though when he allowed his aquamarine gaze to survey the other, absolute shock set in, and he was forced to support his frame against on of the tables.

It was quite a picture indeed; there, just metres in front of him, sat a rather bulgy, rather lumpy, and really rather upset looking Tifa.

He studied her form for a few moments, as though completely unsure whether the fall had knocked him out, and that in actual fact, he was now in some sort of crazed dream, an idea whom was only supported further, when his gaze drifted to the once bald Turk standing by the opposite table.

''Rude...?'' The red head's mouth gaped slightly, as he stared at the suited, shade wearing, voluptuous young woman, whom now donned a full head of gloriously jet black locks, which fell down about his-her shoulder's with a graceful lift, and whom, until moments ago, had indeed been a rather tall, muscles, and trade-marked bald.

The now-woman Turk stood as still, and as silently as ever, signalling to Reno with no audible effort whatsoever that she was indeed, Rude.

''Holy cow...'' He was about to move closer and take a more detailed look at his co-worker's new appearance, when his wife let out a high pitched whistle, though it soon became obvious that the sound emitted had not come from between her perfectly form, if now a slightly puffed out, soft pink lips.

He cringed in disgust, turning towards his slightly ball-like wife, ''Holy Shin-Ra Tifa, what have you been eating?''

She sniffed loudly, before allowing anger to temporarily replace her own self-embarrassment, ''Reno, I've been transformed and gained an extra four hundred pounds! It's hardly my fault I'm a bit-''

The brunette was cut off once again by another wind-passing moment, though it was noticeably louder, and rather more thunderous than the first.

Before either husband of wife could make a single comment of shame or disappointment, the now long-lock wearing Rude took in a short, rather girlish gasp of surprised breath, ''Yuffie, what...''

Although the young ninja had not been effected physically, her mind seemed to have been altered somewhat, as well as her basic instincts, as her form crouched upon all fours,whilst her head remained proudly level, and when she spoke, her voice was calm, articulated, like a deepened purr, ''Is there something wrong?''

''This is just getting weird...'' Reno raised an eyebrow at the three forms, the bizarreness of their transformations becoming both more amusing and more concerning by the second.

* * *

A bare five minutes had passed, though seemingly within which, many things had occurred; Yuffie had now taken to attempting to sleek her hair into a mohican style mane, whilst swishing a none existent tail and growling lightly whenever Rude began to play with his new appendages, and the brunette bartender had now let ripe an intoxicating explosion of odious gases, whilst also letting out many series of howling cries, obviously not enjoying her new form in the slightest, and of course the red head wasn't helping matters, as he spent the section of time to pock his finger in and out of her many differently layered fat folds.

He sighed heavily as she gave another sob, ''Frankly...you brought this on yourself. I mean really, what were you trying to do?''

Tifa turned, well, hauled her body in his general direction, and glared both with menace and self-disgust, ''Me and Yuffie wanted to get you two back for being such assholes!'' Reno's face flickered , as a wave of previously unfelt guilt washed over him, ''You made fun of us! And it was uncalled for!''

Rude lowered his own head, and trotted awkwardly over to his wife, whom now lay curled up upon the floor, and soon his feminine body was draped over hers in a cradling hug, ''Sorry.''

The red head watched his co-worker's display intently, before turning to his wife, with an expression holding no amusement or argument, but rather pure, honest apologetic adoration, ''I'm sorry too sweetie. For that and...for this...I acted like a complete and utter twonk.''

She giggled playfully at his self-insult, and recovered herself with a warm, if slightly still-sorrowful smile, ''Good.''

His face only dropped for a moment, before it lit up with a sudden, almost dramatically comic energetic triumph, ''And...I'm gunna get us out of this!''

* * *

After twenty minutes of Reno standing around one of the tables, surrounded by various vials, some newly found, and some he'd managed to salvage from the lab room floor, brow furrowed in thought, whilst hands fiddled with their contents, he had finally pulled together a rather bright looking concoction, and had now managed, with some difficulty, to persuade the transformed bodies to consume the bubbling liquid.

A few moments passed, and the red head started to wonder if his lack of scientific knowledge had indeed, let him down again, though before he had a chance to even sigh in self-disappointment, the changes started to come into effect.

It all seemed to happen within the space of a few seconds, Yuffe startled as if from a dream, and rose to her feet, quickly displaying her best ninja poses, Rude's chest shrunk and broadened accordingly, whilst his hair fell to the ground in a heap, at which point Reno could have sworn his fellow-Turk had groaned in saddened annoyance, and the brunette let out one, gigantic gas-passing, which seemed to deflate her instantaneously.

The two couples grinned at one another, before each burst into their own fit of giggles, the realisation of their previous situation finally sinking in, though soon enough Yuffie and Rude had pulled each other in for a lip melting kiss, whilst Reno wrapped his arms around his own wife and gently stroked stray darkened strands behind her delicate ear.

Tifa moaned lightly, though as a thought flashed through her mind, she couldn't help but furrow her brow, 'Wait...how come you didn't get effected?''

The red head smirked at her question, and within moments he had been pulled back from the intimate seriousness, and pushed forward into playfully teasing, ''Because, I'm just too amazing.''

His wife leant closer and brushed her nose against his, before whispering, ''Or maybe you're weird enough already.''

He whipped up a mock look of wounded pride before allowing his smirk to form once again, ''Well then, I guess we really do make the perfect pair...''

After sharing a soft, brush light kiss, the couple began to make their way out from the lab room, with a tired looking ninja following behind, draped upon her husband's form, as she caught a free piggy back ride, a small delight which Rude was more that happy to give.

* * *

The raven haired Turk sighed lightly and lowered his head; his girlfriend whom strode just centimetres in front of him had been complaining quite thunderously for a while now, and although he appreciated her views, he really didn't need them droned into his tired head.

Elena seemed rather oblivious to her partner's discomfort, as she continued with her rant, ''Why do we have to clear up **their **mess?''

''Because-'' Tseng's quiet tone was cut off almost immediately, as she carried on, either not interested or not expecting him to answer.

''It's their fault! I mean we're respectable Turks! I hardly think cleaning up after our co-workers and their ex-AVALANCHE spouses is an appropriate-''

This time it was her whom was cut off, though it was not for the purposes of listening to her raven-haired boyfriend, but rather because her voice had yelped from her throat when her heeled feet had accidentally locked with one of the stairs, causing her form to topple and splatter straight into the vials swimming remnants.

Tseng on seeing this, had instinctively jumped after her, in an attempt to break her fall, though in doing so, had consequently become entangled with her body, and in turn had soon joined her in the warm, dripping floor surface.

The young female groaned as her chocolatey gaze flickered open, though the focus she had been preparing to centre around her aches, was soon dispersed and replaced with both confusion and fear.

Her body had shrunk, in fact, she had become no taller had a Hb pencil, and although that was what had brought about the feeling of confusion, the shared degree of fear had been created for an entirely different reason.

Her boyfriend, it seemed, had not been shrunk, but rather transformed into a very hairy, very large, and really very hungry looking chocobo, whom was now eyeing her tiny pink form with wide eyes.

She smiled nervously, and took a step away from the feathered Turk, though in hindsight the action had little use, ''Tseng?''

The miniature blonde received no response other than a rather dumb, if a little cute looking head tilt, ''Sweetie?''

The black-blue chocobo gave a rumbled chuck, before allowing it's eyes to flash with tummy-filling desire, and at this realisation Elena gave a startled gulp, ''Oh dear.''


End file.
